- Dumbledore: The dark forest is strictly forbidden to all students
- Dumbledore: Except for detention
- Dumbledore: Where you will be forced to wander around when it's darkest and scariest
- Dumbledore: Doesn't that make so much sense
- Dumbledore: I'm so good at rules
- Dumbledore: Ten points to Dumbledore
a sphinx girl who’s absolute balls at riddles but fucking loves terrible puns
a traveler is blocked by a sphinx suddenly while going along a path. “what do bees brush their hair with?” she asks, and he’s FREAKING OUT, he’s going to get fucking eaten, didn’t the sphinx DIE, oh god what was the riddle, he knows this one oh shit he knows this one what was it, oh fuck, what the fuck
the sphinx narrows her eyes and bares her teeth a little. oh shit, the traveler thinks, oh shit he’s fucking dead.
the sphinx grins like a goddamn doofus and struggles to hold back laughter as she answers “a honeycomb”
I think the Ravenclaw motto should be caw caw motherfuckers
I vote we change them all
hiss hiss motherfuckers
roar roar motherfuckers
is the one for hufflepuff missing cause they’re too polite to say motherfucker or cause nobody knows what a badger sounds like?
nobody has heard the hufflepuff war cry and survived